Infected
by Nanaki BH
Summary: [InuixKaidoh] He loves his best friend. But if he were to tell him, he knows he could lose him forever. Short, sappy


Disclaimer: _Prince of Tennis_ and all affiliated materials are property of Konomi Takeshi and Shonen Jump.

Infected  
By: Nanaki BH

_Why… Why can't I stop thinking about Kaidoh?_

I thought I was good at hiding it from others but I couldn't hide it from myself. My mind just kept circling around thoughts of him; training, hot, sweating, straining, and looking downright fuckable. And it was bad… because I had no idea I was gay. I wasn't even sure when I started thinking such things about him. It could have been only a couple weeks before when he began training with me. It certainly gave me the time alone with him to get to know him better. But why was I so interested in him?

Maybe it was his incredible drive to do better and better. I could tell just how determined he was to surpass himself. Every time he practiced, he would get this incredible focused expression; his gaze intense as if staring down an imaginary opponent. Usually, while he trained himself, I would sit somewhere close and take data. He didn't even know how much I wanted to be there next to him, close to him, guiding him skin to skin…

"Wh-What's wrong with me?" I muttered to myself. I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes tightly, trying somehow to block out the vivid mental images I was getting. I looked down at the textbook open in front of me but it was like every word read "Kaidoh Kaoru".

"Inui." It was Fuji. He had on his rare, serious face. Obviously, I had him concerned. "Maybe you should get some air. You look kind of red."

Red? God, I must have been blushing from head to toe. Kaidoh had me more flustered than I thought. I wanted to just ignore Fuji's suggestion so I tried even harder to focus on my work. The things the teacher was saying weren't even registering anymore. Every word I read sounded like it was talking about him. I became increasingly frustrated.

Kaidoh had… infected me.

"Sensei," I announced, standing up from my seat. "Please excuse me."

Interrupted, he looked up, seemingly annoyed. "It's the middle of class."

"I need some air."

He sighed and shook his head. "Fine, go."

As soon as I was excused, I bolted for the door, not hesitating for even a second. I didn't know where I was going once I got myself out into the hall nor did I care. I just knew I had to get away somewhere, somewhere where nobody could see me. Before long, I was wishing I had brought a book or two with me; at least my data notebook. The sweet friction of my school slacks against the sensitive skin of my thighs was causing a growing situation, so to speak.

Why was this happening? What had I ever done to deserve this sort of embarrassment? I just wanted to hide and pull my jacket over my head, maybe, and forget about everything.

I ran into the nearest bathroom I came to and immediately locked myself in one of the stalls. I stood there for a second, my heart racing – thump, thump, thump – in my chest. Suddenly, I felt like crying, like screaming, like… like everything. What was making me feel this way? Was it so wrong if I wanted to masturbate while thinking about him? I liked him for just about as many personal reasons as I did sexual reasons, so it wasn't _that_ wrong, was it?

I slammed my head against the door – once, twice, three times. It didn't matter how many times I did that, though. The image of him hot, naked, and moaning beneath the shade of the el refused to leave my mind. I was Kaidoh's sempai; I didn't want to think of him like that.

Leaning back against the stall door, I unbuckled my belt, letting my pants down a little. My dick was still stiff, defying my moral values. Figuring that the problem would be difficult to resolve on its own, I tugged down my shorts and reached for my dick, hissing as my fingers curled around it. Even the slight sound of air escaping through my clenched teeth reminded me of him and that adorable sound he makes when he's frustrated.

Gently, I began to stroke myself, my fist covering my full length; pausing at the top to slam back down to the base. I ran my thumb over the head, pressing down firmly, sending shivers up and down my spine. I swallowed hard, my glasses starting to slip down my nose. I prayed that nobody would walk in and hear me gasping, though the slick sounds I was making would probably tip somebody off anyway.

I slammed my back into the door, shuddering, and came into my hand faster than I expected to. I wasn't just being hormonal, I thought; Kaidoh really had me _that_ worked up. I made sure to clean myself up quickly and flushed but hesitated when I considered leaving. I put a hand to my chest and just stood there for a while, feeling my heart beat. It was still fast, even after all of that.

I was afraid I was just lusting after him but I wanted so badly to just hold him, kiss him, and be with him, too. I'd never been in love before. I'd heard quite a few times that the first person you fall in love with might not necessarily be the one you stay with the rest of your life. But I wanted Kaidoh and I was sure, one hundred percent sure that he was the kind of person I would want to be with forever.

It was a wonderful, relieving admission to myself. I sighed, feeling myself relax finally. The overwhelming feeling in my heart remained, though, and made me feel a little dizzy, too. But it was nice… and warm.

The problem was: how would I tell him? Kaidoh was a sensitive person. He often tried to hide it but I could still see it in him. If I told him… would he hate me?

No, this was Kaidoh I was thinking of. He could never hate me. I didn't even think he was capable of hating. Trying to convince myself that things would be just fine, I decided to go back to class.

The teacher didn't comment on my unusually long leave of absence but Fuji still noticed. He looked at him like he could see right through me. I wondered if he really knew what was going on. If he did, wouldn't the others have known? I looked around the room but my other third year tennis friends had their eyes trained on their books, consumed with their schoolwork.

That's how I wanted to be, doing work like I should have been, but my thoughts were still far from studious.

"It's Kaidoh, isn't it?" Fuji whispered to me.

I stared at him, my eyes wide behind my glasses. He really _did _know. I tried to act calm, though, keeping my hands folded in my lap.

"You stare at him all the time," he said, resting his chin in his palm. "You should tell him before things get uncomfortable."

I guess he didn't know as much as I assumed he did. He had no idea how uncomfortable things already were for me and things were just going to get worse, it seemed. What did Fuji know about this kind of thing? How often had he been put into a situation where he had to choose between truth and his best friend? On second thought, considering that it was Fuji, perhaps he _did_ know a thing or two.

"I'm kind of…"

"Afraid?"

"Yeah."

He leaned over just for a second and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder before the teacher turned around to see him. It wasn't really much but it felt nice to hear that somebody was there just in case.

The bell rang and the class heaved a collective sigh. I picked up all my books and put my homework away, shoving everything into my book bag. Although it was the end of the day for most of the Seishun students, the tennis team still had a meet at the courts. Just thinking about it was making my head hurt.

I could've sworn I was the last one left in the class but when I looked up, Fuji was still there. "Fuji," I said softly, my gaze falling to the floor. "You really think I should tell him? Today? Tomorrow? …When?"

"Sooner than later but whenever you feel ready. I can tell that he needs you though, Inui." He shouldered his backpack and headed to the door. His expression softened and he smiled. "It's easier than you think."

"Easier than I…?" He left, leaving me alone and a little confused. It was definitely easier said than done, that was for sure. I had in the past, imagined what it would be like to tell him. In every situation it was something special; maybe with him under a sakura tree outside the school, petals falling around us; maybe when we were training, both of us tired but relaxed, comfortable in each other's presence.

He was right. Maybe it didn't have to be so romantic. We were both guys, after all. I resolved to tell him at practice.

I left the classroom before the teacher got back and got to the courts last. I apologized for being late and tried to act casual. I noticed Kaidoh wasn't there. And I immediately felt uneasy. He could've left, in which case I feared I would have to hold onto my feelings a whole other day. I took my stuff with me into the locker room and threw it all down on the bench so I could open my locker.

I reached for my jersey and my fingers gripped it painfully tight. I felt so strange. I thought I had it all under control but when it finally came down to it, I had been let down and I couldn't deliver. Even if I saw him later, I knew I wouldn't be able to tell him in front of the others nor would I be brave enough to take him aside on my own. It didn't make sense. Kaidoh was the only person on the face of the Earth who could confuse me and make me question everything so much. I wanted to tell him but I didn't want to tell him at the same time. I felt like I was powerless and falling apart.

"Kaidoh," I whispered… It felt so good just to say his name, as if it could lift a little of the weight from me.

"Inui-sempai. Are you okay?"

Oh God. My heart stopped. What… What was I going to do? How could I even face him? I knew I had to look terrible after getting myself so worked up. What would he think if I looked at him looking like that? My day really _was_ going from bad to worse. I considered lying and not telling him at all but then I reminded myself of what Fuji had told me. Things could only get more uncomfortable if I didn't tell him.

I took a few deep breaths, knowing that I could try to at least remove some of the red from my face. I turned around and he just looked at me so innocently. I knew that in a matter of seconds, I could break his heart, ruin his life, make him hate my guts.

"Kaidoh, I…" Did I? Did I love him enough to admit it? I tried to stay firm and blurted it out all at once. "Kaidoh, I love you."

He didn't move. He just stood there with the same expression, not even blinking. I had expected something to happen. I knew how he could get. He could have run up and punched me if he wanted to but he didn't do anything at all. In a way, that felt a lot worse.

"Inui… sempai."

"You don't have to say anything now. You can think about it, I guess. Just… let me know, okay?"

Finally, I saw something else on his face, something akin to confusion. He stepped forward and kept going until he was toe to toe with me, his eyes burning into mine, as if he were searching for something. He grabbed the front of my uniform and shoved me hard into the closed locker next to my own. I gasped, the air being knocked from my lungs.

_This is it,_ I thought, _I deserve this._

I clamped my eyes shut, expecting the first blow to be a hard one. I felt his hands, warm, turning my face forward. I would let him have a good hit if he wanted to. Oh well. So much for doing the right thing.

He leaned all his weight into me, pushing me back into the locker again, making it rattle. Completely to my surprise, I felt something warm… his… his lips against mine. I cracked open an eye – it was for real. And he even looked like he was enjoying it. An uncontrollable smile spread across my face and I kissed him back, putting my hands down on his hips.

Instinctively, he flinched away, touching his fingers to his lips.

"Inui-sempai," he muttered, his face flushed a bright red. He looked down at his feet and pulled his bandana down a little like he was trying to hide the growing blush. "Don't make me say it."

I would remind myself later to thank Fuji. All I wanted to do was be there with Kaidoh a little while longer. When he breathed a shaky sigh, I put a hand at the back of his neck and eased him forward to lean against my chest. He looked so tired, just like me. He must've been thinking about me all day, too.

It made me smile.

"You don't have to say anything right now. Not yet. When you're ready." I pushed up his bandana and kissed his furrowed brow. "When you're ready."

Author's Notes: This was pure sap, wasn't it? Well. Except for Inui's sexual deviation. That sure was different. I enjoyed writing this, though. It kept me entertained for a while at school. Hopefully you enjoyed reading it, too. Feedback is always appreciated!


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